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Healing From Rejection

Webster’s dictionary defines rejection as a disaffirmation, negation, and to refuse as unfit. Rejection starves a woman from love and acceptance that they were designed to receive. Even at a very young age, little girls are striving for acceptance, especially from their fathers.

Many fathers say hurtful and demeaning things to their daughters. These words can become wounds that never heal.

Also, these negative words can stay with a young girl way into womanhood and affect the way she views herself. The way a young girl perceived her daddy when she was growing up easily can become the way she will perceive the man she is with later in her life.

For a man to consider or treat a woman special, a woman has to present herself as special. Oftentimes, we want someone so bad in our lives that we compromise ourselves to keep them. Do you allow yourself to settle for anybody so you are not alone. Have you compromised in areas that left you ridden with guilt; only when the man you were with decided to move on to someone else. Why would a man want you if you were like everyone else.

You need to value yourself as a priceless jewel. Why would a man value you if you didn’t value yourself. Too many women have let men drag them through the mud. Through their abuse, neglect, indifference and rejection, women have been reduced to individuals who do not know who they are.

Your identity cannot depend upon what another person thinks of you. If you are putting your trust in a person you are setting yourself up to be let down. When a woman is rejected she will immediately take it personally. She will blame herself for what she did, what she didn’t do, what she said or didn’t say. She will feel unloved and begin questioning her appearance and look for her own personality flaws. Rejection can cause a person to isolate themselves, shut down, or just check out. If you are putting your trust in a person you are setting yourself up to be let down. Insecurities can come from within you and from past experiences. When I was in college a had a roommate who every time a boy would break up with her she would take sleeping pills and sleep for days. Another college friend, when a boy would stop seeing her, would almost starve herself and eat only one hardboiled egg a day because she was certain if she was super thin this would never happen to her again.

Many women thought their husband would complete them as a woman. Therefore, the rejection of a spouse can be one of the most overwhelming emotions a woman will face. When the person you let into your mind, heart, and soul has now turned their back on you, it can be devastating. Your dearest friend, the one you have shared your most intimate thoughts, feelings, and moments has turned his back on you. Not only has he broken your heart, but it feels as if he took a part of you with him.

I had a friend who told me her story of rejection. She was married to the same man for nearly 30 years. During that time, not only was he a prominent and respected person in politics, but would often visit churches during his campaigns. Everyone loved and applauded him. She would sit in the pew and cringe. You see, she knew the deep dark secret. He had rejected her many years ago; through multiple affairs. Yet he kept up appearances. Even her own mother told her, “It’s better to have half a man than no man at all. Just keep your mouth shut. He provides well for you and the children. Why he even gave you a Mercedes!” Thank God, my friend woke up one day and decided she was tired of feeling worthless, tired of lowering her standards, and trying to please a man who had rejected her. She stopped believing what he said about her and started believing what Christ said about her. She began to see herself as a precious jewel that would complement any man lucky enough to win you. You need to value yourself as a priceless jewel.

With rejection will come many nights of blaming yourself, endless tears, and the feeling that you cannot go on. But one day when you let go and give it to God— joy will come in the morning. You will pick yourself up and move on. If a person can reject you and move out of you life then that person was not who God intended for you, or that person was not obedient to God. Life goes on, you need to learn to move on. A negative experience is a bad chapter and it doesn’t make your whole book bad.

The truth is you were created to be loved, accepted, and appreciated. Do you see yourself as God intended for you to be? Our identity must be based upon the Word of God, and what God has to say about us. He calls you His beloved and says you are the apple of His eye.

Rejection can feel like a wound that will never heal. But we must remember that God is our healer and yes he understands rejection. He understands because he himself experienced the pain of rejection.

He was despised and forsaken of men,

A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;

And like one from whom men hide their face

He was despised and we did not esteem him.

(Isaiah. 53:3 NASV)

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